Well, this has been a harder week for me. There's a lot I could talk about with this but basically, after another OB appt., I'm stuck with the hard decision of c section vs natural delivery. There is no easy answer on this one for my pelvic floor situation. I'm pretty much gonna have pain regardless (not just birth pain, I totally get that that's normal, trust me). And, they may not offer the repair I need here at this base, so once again, I've been sinking into a bit of depression with this stuff. I just want to feel good again so I can be the best mom I can be. Who knew I would have to give up so much of me in the process of becoming a mom. I know that's dramatic sounding, but this stuff is just weighing on me so much. It's a daily struggle to deal with, and I just want the hope that I'll be okay and get it taken care of, and have doctors that know what they're doing. The worry of this has taken away from purely just having excitement about the coming baby, and I hate that. So all of this to say, I just have tough decisions to make and I feel I'm walking such a lonely and unfamiliar road with this stuff. Please pray for me and my little family, friends. We really need some favor here. Other than this, baby is doing great and I'm thankful for this gift. Really, I am. I'm just figuring out how this gift will arrive. Lol and frankly, as I've read on other blogs recently with the few women out there that understand my struggle right now, "there is just no good way to birth a baby." Haha. It's a tough business being a woman sometimes, and I am even more in awe of all we go through to bring our babies into the world and nurture them. It's a gift. But it's not without its sacrifices.
Without further babbling, here's my week with baby "it" :)
How far along? 19 weeks 5 days
How big is the baby? Tomato 6 in, .5 pounds
Total weight gain/loss? Seriously somehow I've shot up to about 6-9 pounds overall. The last few weeks my body has decided to blow up. Oh my word! Overall, it's not a bad gain, but darn, I need my body to work with me on gradual gain here.
Maternity clothes? Some, but mostly regular stuff still.
Sleep? Sleep is good when I'm not coughing all night. I've had a cold again this week.
Best moment this week? Baby movements and all the excitement of the Christmas season
Symptoms? Emotional as always. Seriously, I think I scare my husband with my sudden mood changes. He described an incident yesterday when he came downstairs by himself to diffuse a situation as him being "in shock" by my sudden outburst of emotion. Haha. He's a good husband. But for real, it's craziness around here. And, I just cry at any movie or video I watch. Even Kid stuff with Gideon. I was just balling the other day over Shrek. I'm. A. Mess.
Other than this, plenty of other great things like acne or "bacne". It is glamorous around here ;-)
Food cravings? Salsa! I made the best homemade salsa last week and I can't get enough.
And still other spicy stuff. Love me some red chili pepper :)
Food aversions? Nope
Gender? 3 days away from finding out ya'll! Omg. I'm so excited! I really feel so torn though. Part of me feels I should prepare to hear the word "boy" but than again, I just feel like I've got extra raging girl hormones in me, so we shall see!!!
Labor signs? Nope
Belly button in or out? In
What I'm looking forward to? Finding out the gender and seeing the baby on ultrasound in general! It always makes it more real to see the little love growing inside.
Milestones? More baby movements and halfway there this weekend!!
Bump? Yep yep! Growing everyday.
I took this at 15 weeks 2 days
I saw this meme the other day. Spot on! Haha
And a Gideon pic of course.:) he loves Nutella.
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