A Moment Frozen in Time

I just want to record a simple, sweet moment with my son before it slips away from my memory. If there was a way to freeze a moment this is one of the few I would want to stay in awhile...

It's Sunday morning, and we seem to have started a tradition so far of bluberry pancakes for breakfast and listening to worship music at the table. Of course, this means holding him in my arms while I eat, but he's usually pretty calm when the music is playing so it's not too difficult to multi-task. The song "Beautiful Things" (originally by Gungor but this was a different version) came on and I started singing with it as I rocked Gideon back and forth in my arms. This song is particularly special to me because God really took a season of ashes and brought beauty to my life. This song  ministered to my heart during that time, and I've always loved it. My husband and I also used it during our sand ceremony at our wedding. So special. The chorus goes, "you make beautiful things. You make beautiful things out of dust. You make beautiful things. You make beautiful things out of us." As I was singing this to Gideon, he locked his eyes with mine and got the biggest grin. He kept smiling and looking straight at me throughout the song. I just looked at him singing the chorus and was thinking how God truly makes beautiful things out of nothing. He created this beautiful, tiny human out of basically nothing. Yes I know, essentially he came from a sperm and an egg, but in the beginning it began with just the dust of the ground. And both of those things are a deep mystery to me. I'm still blown away that life grew inside me for nine months, and now it's here in my arms. So amazing. I just looked at my little guy knowing he is one of those beautiful things I'm singing about, and he just smiled up at me like he was sharing that moment with me, knowing how awesome the Lord is. It's time like this I just want to stop time and stay in the moment, holding on so it doesn't slip away. Oh, If I could just be still and rest in the love I felt as I stared into my sons eyes and saw the beauty of the Lord. 

"Thank you, Jesus, for your beauty. Thank you for creating beautiful things out of nothing. Thank you for precious life. Thank you for moments like this. You are amazing and your ways are a beautiful mystery."

Little Lessons

God has been using my precious son as a way to speak to me, and it is awesome. Here is just a little something.

As I was reading my devotional and praying, Gideon began to cry. This was definitely not out of the ordinary for when I try to have "quiet time". Honestly, its pretty hard to get these days. So as he was crying, I'm still praying and am starting to feel guilty that I'm not responding to him, then feeling guilty that I'm not giving the Lord my full attention. I then hear this from the Lord.

"Comfort your baby as I comfort you. As he cries out to you, that is how you are when you cry out to me. Think of how quickly you want to respond to him because you love him. How much more do I do the same for you? Not because I have to although this is the role I play in our relationship as father, but because I hear the desperate cry of my child that I love and I can't help wanting to comfort you."

How awesome is that? God wanted me to quickly respond to the cries of my son, not feel guilty that it was an "inconvenient" time. He wanted me to know that this is how He responds to me. He gladly runs to me when He hears my cry. He doesn't hesitate. He always comes when I call. And I'm thankful for that. 

Of course I listened to God on this and quickly began trying to comfort my son. I started by trying to tell him that mommy was here and it would be okay. I then tried a song or two. But, as I've learned, the same thing he loved yesterday doesn't always work today. He began screaming louder and he couldn't hear me anymore.Then, I heard this. 

"I always hear your cries, but sometimes you can't hear me over your own pleas for attention. Take a breath and listen. I have what you need." 

Just like my son in that moment, couldn't hear me over his own cries, God reminded me that I'm like this sometimes. I'm crying out to Him, but not being able to hear Him over my myself. Basically, talking but not listening. Whoa.

Two amazing little lessons in such a short time. God always hears my cries. He responds to my needs. He is faithful. But, in my cries, I must remember to give Him the chance to answer me, to stop and listen to His voice, His instruction. And to focus less on my cry/need and more on the answer, more on Him. 

Im grateful for a God that hears me and responds to my needs. And I'm privileged to be able to have a similar role in mothering my child. I get to learn from the Father how to respond to my child's needs among other things. I'm glad that My husband and I don't have to do this parenting thing alone. We have the best teacher there is. And He speaks to me in the most amazing and simple ways. 

And yes, if you're wondering, my son eventually stopped crying and let his mommy love on him. I sure do love my little blessing.

 "The Righteous cry, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles."--Psalm 34: 17.

Becoming Mommy

I could write for hours about all the things I've been learning in my experience as a mother for the past month, but who has hours to blog when you're a new mom!? Seriously, this post is pushing it and is being done during a pumping session (TMI?) to utilize time. Here are some things I've learned so far:

1) Childbirth and recovery ain't easy. Enough said. 

2) Having a morning cup of coffee doesn't have the same meaning anymore. It really consists of trying to hold a cup of hot liquid while simultaneously holding a crying baby and trying to use one hand to soothe him as I I try to take a few sips to start the day.

3) Showers are a privilege. Shaving is a luxury.

4) Alone time is non existent. Yet, I don't really want to leave baby's side anyway. 

5) Will  I ever get 8 hours of sleep again? Somehow though, I'm surviving. 

6) Someone else is more important than me. My needs are secondary.

7) Meals are meant to be eaten one handed and quickly, if at all.

8) When in doubt, sing. Make up words. Make up songs. Hopefully no one else besides that sweet baby is listening, but if it works, it works. Just do it.

9) My little love changes everyday. Clothes that fit yesterday don't fit today.

10) Baby cuddles really are the sweetest thing in the world.

11) Its a struggle whether or not to wake a sleeping baby to eat. He looks adorable, and it's so peaceful. Does he really need to eat right now?

12) His smiles are worthy of a celebration.

13) Tracking pees and poops become second nature. 

14) Changing my own baby's diaper really isn't gross at all.

15) Going out of the house is an event. Somehow I can overpack yet still forget something.

16) Pjs are the daily work attire.

17) Chores should be done at lightning speed if I want to get them done at all.

18) God made this tiny little miracle, and He entrusted me with it. How crazy awesome is that?

19) This season may be challenging but it's ever so sweet and short. As I look down at my precious miracle, I'm reminded that it won't be like this for long & I want to soak up every moment.

20) I truly have the best job in the world! 

China's Special Treasures

I want to share a blog with you that features a few of the children in International China Concern's (ICC) care that are eligible for adoption!  ICC is a wonderful organization that truly seeks to care for China's abandoned and disabled children. I have had the privilege to meet a few of the precious faces on this list, and I am thrilled that some wonderful people have teamed up and got a system in place to help advocate for these children more! If you have a desire to adopt or know someone that does, I really encourage you to take a look or pass it on to a friend. If you want to learn more about a specific child on the site please follow the contact info after the child's description.

If you want to learn more about ICC please visit their website- http://www.chinaconcern.org/

Here is the blog of children eligible for adoption. http://www.chinaspecialtreasures.blogspot.com/

 "Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes." --David Platt Radical

Hello Again, Blog World: Updates from the past year

It has been WAY too long since I've actually used my blog. Seriously, it's been about a year. That is crazy. I know during this last year there have been so many things I've thought about writing, quotes I've thought about posting, etc. but somehow, it just never happened. I could say life has been busy, and well it certainly has, but when is it not nowadays? Basically, I just finally have the desire and intention to use this again, so I will proceed to fill you in a little on things. Here are a few updates that have happened in this past year of life.
1. The biggest news of this year has been that WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!! Daniel and I found out in October that we are expecting a little miracle. It is no doubt a blessing from the Lord that we prayed hard for, and we could not be more excited! In January, our excitement grew more as we learned we are having a little boy! After much discussion, we decided on naming him Gideon Daniel Wheeler. Gideon means "mighty warrior," and we love the story of the Gideon in the bible. We wanted to give our first born son his father's name as a middle name, so Daniel it is. It feels like he is going to be a mini Daniel from all the things we talk about. I can't decide if I'm excited or a little terrified about having a second Daniel running around. ;-) Time has flown by, and now we are only 9 weeks away from meeting our precious little boy. Thinking about his arrival and preparing for it pretty much takes up a lot of my free time these days, so I'm certain you can expect some more baby specific posts soon.
2. My hubby and I celebrated our one year anniversary in November!!! It was such a wonderful first year of marriage. I know people say that the first is the toughest, but really it felt like a breeze. God, in his grace, allowed us a period before marriage to truly test our relationship and evaluate our love for each other, so I believe that set us up for a great marriage. Whether it's being bums around the house or going on outdoor adventures, I love spending time with my husband, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. He is such a wonderful leader in our home and marriage, and I can't wait to see him as a daddy to our baby. Year 2 of marriage is underway, and it just keeps getting sweeter.
3. I started a job here in San Antonio last year as a special education teacher. In December of this year, I decided to leave the job due to the news of the baby's arrival. My kids were wonderful, but they were also very physical, and I made the decision to put my family first. I will certainly miss my precious kiddos, but I know they are in good hands. I am now a stay at home wife, and soon-to-be stay at home mommy! Staying home to raise my kids has always been my dream, so I am grateful that the Lord has allowed us to have the ability to make this happen. As I wait on that season to become reality, it's nice to get to keep the house in order, take naps when I want, workout often, and really put my health first during this pregnancy by staying home. I am a fan so far.
4. We have had the opportunity to get more involved in our church. Last spring, we went through a training called H300 which basically prepares people to become disciple makers and small group leaders. After the training, we got to work on finding couples in our church without a small group and began making friends. In the fall, we officially started meeting with our small group. We have really got to know all the couples in our small group this year. It has been more than just an extension of church, these people are our friends. It's been such a blessing to get to go through this season of life with eachother.
5. We bought and moved into our first house in September! We decided we were over renting and ready to buy, so after much looking and changing our mind and budget several times, we made an offer and bought our first house. We have enjoyed painting, decorating, and making this house our home. We found out we were expecting less than a month after we moved in, so it has been perfect timing. Soon, we will get to have our little boy here to start making memories as a family of 3 (4 if you count our cat, Buddy. He's pretty much a little person).

Those are the major highlights of the last year. It's been such a rich, beautiful season of life. Now, I'm just breathing it all in, and thanking God for all the blessings He's given me and my growing little family. I can only imagine the many more blessings in store for us this next year. (I'll try to be better about blogging them this time.) As for now, I just want to enjoy each new moment as it comes. It's always been hard for me to do this being a dreamer and a planner by nature, but boy is it nice to stop thinking about tomorrow and just soak in the beauty of today. As Jim Elliot said,"Wherever you are, be all there." I'm here, and I'm loving it.