Friday, May 20, 2016

Everything

Just a small conversation with the Lord I wanted to share today:

After a morning filled with crazy around this house with a baby and toddler....


"Jesus, I know I haven't spent as much time with you lately. What do you have for me today?"

"Everything. I have everything for you, child. Time. Energy. Stamina. Patience. Health. Grace. Love. Treasure...everything. All you have to do is ask. It's here for you. It's a gift."

"What do you need from me today, Lord?

"Everything." 

Freedom didn't come free on the cross. We are surely given the gift of grace, and so much more that we don't have to earn, but let us not forget that, while we don't have to earn our gift, it isn't fully free. It costs everything we have in return. 

"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:32

"Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:39

God gives all. And God asks all. This is a lesson that has seemed to pop up a lot for me over the years. Think on that with me today. He's given and will give you everything you need. Have you given Him everything? 

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Birth story: Emma Grace Wheeler


Hello friends! 

We have a daughter!! I still can't believe it. Miss Emma Grace Wheeler is a week and half old today, so I figure it's time to share the birth story since it'll soon start to fade because of mommy brain if I don't write it down. If only, babies came into the world without causing mommies any pain (oh what would birth have been like before Eve picked that darn Apple, right!? ;) ) So, here you go, the birth story in all it's fabulous honest glory. 

I had Emma at 38 weeks and 1 day just for reference for anyone who's read all my weekly posts. It was a Monday. I had started having contractions a few days before this but they were not consistent yet nor very painful. I had also been drinking red raspberry leaf tea for about a week. I'm s supposed to help strengthen your uterus for childbirth and get labor moving, but of course any momma will tell you that baby comes when they're ready no matter what interventions you try. I did interestingly start drinking it just about a week before I had Gideon too, so maybe it's that magical? ;-) Anyway, in between contractions leading up to things that weekend, I had my family helping me deep clean the house. I was definitely nesting. I do love a clean house in general though. At the same time as doing all this, I felt like it was entirely too calm around the house. You know, like the calm before the storm? So I really knew labor was on its way. I had bets on April 20th the Wednesday that week, but I really had no idea, and I definitely didn't think it would be the day it was. Monday seemed pretty normal. I was able to do my quiet time that morning and prayed for God to be in control of delivery even if it meant changing the birth plan I had (how many times have I told ya'll to be careful what you pray for!? Lol). I started having contractions again that morning but I was definitely still able to control them and figured they were still Braxton hicks. I asked my mother in law to help
with Gideon for a bit that morning though because it was getting stronger. I should have known then, because I was asking for help which is not my thing. I sat down with my favorite kasha protein cereal and tries to rest. (Also a side note, this cereal was the last meal I had before I had Gideon and both were around noon when I ate it while watching Netflix. So interesting.) Contractions seemed to slow with rest, so I went about the day as usual. I really felt the need to stock up on snacks and a few foods from the German grocery store down the road so around 3pm, I went out with my mother in law and Gideon to shop. I was having contractions driving and they were getting stronger. My mother in law joked and asked if we should be driving to the hospital. I was adamant that I was totally okay and so we went through the trip to the store and I stopped and breathed through contractions. We got home around 4ish and we let Gideon play outside a bit. Our neighbors came by, and I remember not being able to talk too much because I was having a contraction but trying to hide it. I ended up saying I needed to go in and get dinner started. I wanted to have Mexican food because I had planned on it- quesadillas, chips, salsa, the works. As I started making the salsa, things magnified. I was really getting uncomfortable, but kept trying to finish. I finally had to go ask for my mother in law to come in and help. Then I started thinking, "just in case I do go into labor, I really shouldn't eat all these beans and salsa" lol. She insisted I sit down, and I told her I needed to go ahead and eat just in case so she rushed to make me some food and brought me a big plate of quesadillas and chips. I happily are them when I wasn't having contractions. During contractions, I stopped and realized I felt pretty bad. I figured I should see where Daniel was. I had him go to the store on base that day too to stock up (way to go me on this, right?;)). I couldn't get him to answer and started to panic. When he finally called back it was 5 something and he was on his way. I told him to hurry because I didn't know if labor was starting. When he got home, I was still eating. Within a few minutes, I decided to go take a bath (my favorite laboring spot).  I knew things were starting to happe,  but I've never wanted to get to the hospital too early. Once in the bath, I called Daniel in and he asked if it was time. I said I wasn't quite sure but it hurt really bad so I guess we should go. Somehow though I wanted to shave my legs and all, so I made myself do that really quick while timing contractions. Riduculous, I know lol. They were getting so close and all of a sudden I knew it was time or actually way past time! I rushed out, screamed for Daniel, and told him we had to go. I went through my list of what we needed and I tried to get dressed. It was so painful now! I couldn't get my legs into pants between contractions. I started to cry and say it was too late, I waited too long. I kept saying it would be too late for the epidural. Daniel assured me we'd get that and it'd be okay. I kissed Gideon bye bye and my mother in law wished us luck. Once in the car, we were in a rush to make it! I started feeling back labor or just really really low pelvic pain that stabs my tailbone area (I also had with Gideon). I cried all the way to the hospital but not because of the pain (although it's worth crying about) but because I was so sad to leave Gideon. I knew this was a huge change and it would just seem so all of a sudden to him. I felt so sad that he was no longer going to be my only baby. I get teary eyed just thinking about it again. Daniel assured me he's be okay as he sped through the towns and went around a slowwww truck only to get flipped off. We didn't care. He made it to the autobahn and we were going 130+ mph to get there. We made it in a record 9 minutes! We parked in the wrong area at first and I started saying some choice words (more would come soon lol). We made it to the right entrance and walked in where a worker at the lobby desk got me a wheel chair and took us up, but she dropped us off in the quiet area and the lady asked who we were here to visit and we told her we were here to have a baby not visit one! She said "Oh, you're in the wrong area!" Really!? They dropped us off in the mother baby unit, not L&D. Omg! I was losing time and patience. We were taken to the right area and calmly put in a room. They were all taking their sweet time, and I told them they needed to hurry or I wouldn't get pain meds. I demanded to be checked and told Daniel it was gonna happen soon if they don't come back. Sure enough, the nurse checked and I was at an 8. They put in an IV. She, still too slowly for my liking, got me a wheel chair to go to delivery room and by the time we got there (like 2 min later) I told them I needed to push. She and Daniel told me not to do that yetbecause  it wouldn't help things. I had problems pushing too early with Gideon too. Not good for my already damaged pelvic floor but it's almost impossible for me not too. They kept telling me to breathe through it, and I told them that was stupid advice and to shut up. Ha. (Daniel knows to give me grace through these moments). I then told them I felt like I was gonna pee or my bag of waters was going to break. I told the nurse it never broke with Gideon and had to be ruptured while pushing. Then all of a sudden, POP, my bag of waters burst and got all over the nurse and Daniel. Classic. Grossly, there was meconium in it, so they got to wear that. We knew baby was coming. I told her to check me and I needed to push, and I was a 10, so I got the green light. All the while during this, I was still screaming and begging for an epidural. I was so upset that I was experiencing the trauma again like the first time and was so in shock. They said they were sorry but I just have too fast of labors. I was in so much pain and terrified. I said a few more not so friendly words and asked Daniel to pray for me. He prayed over me, and I was pushing before the doctor even came in. They all coached me through a couple pushes, and on the last one, I saw her head coming out. It was quite magical actually. I cherish getting to see that this time. She was born at 8:11pm weighing 6 lbs 14 oz., with no interventions praise the Lord!! They checked her to make sure she was healthy then she came back to me, and I got to have my first skin to skin after childbirth as I got stiched up. There was just no way around tearing for me unfortunately having it happen so fast. I was worried about my prolapse and how bad it was now, but after the weight of a baby comes out, I was also on the afterbirth high. I was also shaking uncontrollably from the hormones and in pain still, but Daniel and I were in awe of this little girl. All of a sudden, we realized how fast that had happened and we had a baby girl. It was crazy and awesome at the same time! I still cannot believe I have a little girl. She's such a precious gift to our family. She has brought with her so much grace and joy. I know God has big plans for her, and I'm thankful he chose us to parent her. He had his hands on this pregnancy and birth and I believe it happened just the way it needed to. Our baby girl is perfect and off to a great start with breastfeeding, something new to me this time around, and we're loving it. As far as I'm concerned, childbirth definitely doesn't make the problems I had any better. I've been praying for healing, and I know God is bringing it, but it will probably come through the hands of doctors. Im just in survival mode right now, so I am looking forward to my postpartum appointment to evaluate where we go from here. Until then, I'm enjoying snuggling my precious gift. 
If you've followed my blogs on this pregnancy and made it through reading all this, then thank you! And, I'd ask you to please pray a prayer of thankfulness for God's hand throughout this pregnancy and birth and pray that He would bring me the healing He has promised. I'm am trusting Him! I'll leave you with a few pictures (don't worry, not of birth! ;-) ) 

My last pregnancy week picture 1 day before Emma made her way into the world. 

Our first picture together:)

Previous baby love

There was truly so much joy in that moment. And so much more to come.

The best big brother!!

I love my babies! Gideon & Emma <3

...Now, I'm gonna snuggle a baby and try to get more than hour of sleep ;-) 

Monday, April 11, 2016

Baby Emma Grace: Weeks 36 & 37


The due date is less than 3 weeks away ya'll! It's getting real. 

How far along? 37 + 2 today 

How big is the baby? Winter melon 19-22 inches 6.5 lbs 

Total weight gain/loss:
Not even getting on the scale these days.  But I feel healthy (in this aspect at least) and believe my girl is right on track. 

Maternity clothes? Yep. 

Sleep? I love bedtime.

Best moment this week: all the sunshine here!! I even let Emma get a little sun ;-)


Symptoms? back pain, pelvic pain to the max/prolapse issues, sensitive skin, heartburn, tired, sense of smell is outrageously strong again, headaches
and nausea come and go too. 
 

Food cravings? Random things all week. Not particularly pregnancy cravings I guess 

Food aversions? Nope 

Gender? Baby girl coming soon! In so nervous to parent a daughter for some reason. I'm just so used to my house of boys now, so this will be interesting. :)

Labor signs? Lots of contractions. I'm not really timing them yet. They're not painful most of the time but I feel a lot of it in my legs and that gets painful. I'm ready for the real deal....to just do it and get this hard part I've been dreading and fearful of for months over with, I mean. I'm in a good place though. Really trusting the Lord with my health and this birth. I'm just ready to snuggle baby girl and move forward. The sun is shining both literally and metaphorically here, and I'm believing healing is around the corner!!

*****Update based on 38 week appt (which was technically done at 37 +3) is 2cm dilated and 75% effaced. Baby girl as so stinking low there's no denying it. And we diiscussed the possibility of induction at 39/40 weeks depending on things since it is very much eccacerbating my prolapse symptoms, but hey, we are making progress and I believe she'll come on her own! 

Belly button in or out?: out ish 

Milestones? I'm over the 37 week mark! I think 38 or 39 weeks sounds like a good time for a baby, yeah? ;)

Bump? Enjoying the last few weeks with this large melon 

Here are the pics: 

36 weeks

37 weeks
Some sneak peak pictures from the free maternity session I won at a group shower a month ago. I took them during week 36. I will treasure these belly shots, as I may never experience the beauty of growing a baby in there again. Thankful for this gift.

Hubs and I on a date night. We are sad to give these up again for a while soon. 

Daddy and Gideon aka, our sweet little man. He is soaking up having our full attention these days, that's for sure.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

A Prayer For My Emma


As I sit here this morning, looking out the window after doing my morning devotional, I can see the slightest glimmer of sunshine peeking out behind the clouds as they part in one small part of the sky. The skies here have been gray for months, and we yearn for blue skies, sun, and beauty to come. We await it with a hopeful anticipation. And, I can't help but think the same thing of my precious baby girl growing in the womb right now. We are anticipating her arrival and the hope and beauty she will bring. This is the prayer of my heart this morning. 

"Jesus, I pray for my baby girl, Emma Grace. That she would be the sunshine in our lives and to everyone she encounters. I pray that her beauty would captivate others and that her joy would radiate Your goodness and Your love. That she would bring with her the hope of things to come and the grace for which you have blessed us with. Oh, your grace, oh God, is marvelous! It is beyond my comprehension. May Emma's life radiate this grace and redemption. May her presence speak of your healing love, and may she bring comfort to those she encounters. Use this baby girl for Your Kingdom. She is yours. In Jesus name, I declare, she will be marvelous, beautiful, captivating, gracious, blessed, inspiring, powerful, bold, adventurous, courageous, joyful, loving, radiant, pure, breathtaking, and a woman of God. I pray she will part the clouds with her rays of sunshine and bring a refreshing breath of beauty to this world! May she be a woman of Your word, Your truth, Your love. May she captivate the world with her beauty. Let her move mountains, Jesus!"






"Blessed is she who has believed the Lord will fulfill His promises to her." Luke 1:45

Friday, April 1, 2016

Baby Emma Grace: Weeks 34 & 35

My due date is exactly one month from today! We've got all our baby stuff ready, and my mother in law will be here Monday. She's going to be with us to help with the transition from a family 3-4 (5 if you count our cat, who really does think he's a baby himself). So, we're getting pretty set here to meet our little girl. I really don't think we'll make it to May, but we'll see. I'm sure hoping to not keep expanding too much longer. And, of course ready to start the healing process! Here's the updates...

How far along? 35 + 5 weeks today 

How big is the baby? Canary melon 19-22 inches 5.5 lbs 
(What the heck is a canary melon? Lol these are always from the the what to expect app., but this week we also had an ultrasound and she is estimated to be 5.5 lbs so we're right on track with this)

Total weight gain/loss:
Plenty of gain around here. Ready to start losing it all soon! 

Maternity clothes? Yep, what I have. 

Sleep? I love bedtime.

Best moment this week: seeing Emma Grace on the ultrasound. I'm anxious to see what she looks like in real life! The ultrasound pics of her face just make me laugh bc her lips and nose look huge. 

Symptoms? back pain, pelvic pain (my prolapse issues jabs really flared up now that baby girls weight is getting up there. It's getting miserably painful), sensitive skin, heartburn, tired, and hungry! 
 

Food cravings? Too many sweet things! Ahh 

Food aversions? Now 

Gender? Ultrasound confirmed its still a girl. I still can't believe I'm gonna have a daughter, ya'll!

Labor signs? Lots of contractions today. Probably still BH. At my appointment yesterday, we did learn that I am 1 1/2 cm dilated and 50% effaced already. Those don't always mean much, so we'll see! I want her to cook a couple more weeks though. At least until 37 weeks :)

Belly button in or out?: out ish 

Milestones? Last month of pregnancy!!! And, only one week and a few days until full term at 37 weeks. It's almost time!! 

Bump? Duh 

Here's the pics: 

Emma grace! Look at those big lips! Oh my lol 

Family picture around 34 weeks. My week pic was not great bc we were sick so I'm using this one for it. Oh, the sunshine we had for one day. I need it back!

35 weeks 

Day before 35 weeks but I think it's a better pic. :) 

Gideon pics of course 
Library time. (The one second I got him to sit still ha)

Look at that sweatsuit. LOVE this boy. 

My other "baby" lol 


My awesome hubby on our date night. I'm really blessed with this man. I can't wait to see him with Emma!



Only a few more updates to go! Baby time is coming!!:):):)

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Baby Emma Grace: Weeks 32&33

Today I'm hitting 34 weeks of pregnancy, so it's time to finally update the last few weeks. Let's just put it this way: I'm so over it. Is it time yet? 

How far along? 34 weeks today 

How big is the baby? Pineapple 19-22 inches 4.9 lbs

Total weight gain/loss:
Over 20 lbs now, and I'm just gonna leave it at that. Feeling depressed about these numbers today. *Sigh*

Maternity clothes? Yes. Although I still wear non maternity stuff just bc I like the shirts and dont have a ton of maternity but my belly is really popping out of them now. I'm gonna start getting off stares soon lol 

Sleep? TIRED doesn't even begin to cover it

Best moment this week: sunshine and family pictures at a castle nearby. Emma was happy too ;-)

Symptoms? back pain, pelvic pain (all the fun stuff that involves), sensitive skin, heartburn, TIRED, and hungry! 
 

Food cravings? Ice cream and dairy. I keep wanting to cut dairy out but it's just not happening. My willpower is seriously lacking these days...running always helped me discipline myself with these things. Another reason I miss it so :(..

Food aversions? Not that I drink this anyway, but after yesterday, when my son puked a ginormous amount of liquid all over Daniel and our couch that smelled was basically all strawberry pediasure...ugh, I never want to smell or see that again!! Yuck. 

Gender? Should still be a girl lol. Ultrasound in 2 weeks!

Labor signs? BH and pelvic pressure as usual. 

Belly button in or out?: out ish (it does its own thing lol)

Milestones? 3 weeks until full term at 37 and only 6 to go until the due date. Let's do this!

Bump? There's no hiding this watermelon 

Here are some pics:
32 weeks. This one with Gideon cracks me up. 


33 weeks. Here's a comparison of 33 with Gideon on the left and 33 now with Emma. 


And here's a comparison of where I started to now. Oh body, where did you go!? ;-) One day, I'll look back and treasure this memory, but today I'm a feeling like a hormonal mess and just kinda blah. These memes explain it all lol




And the best big brother:
At a community baby shower we went to. There's lots of pregnant spouses here, and without being by family and friends not many get baby showers so we all had one for each other. I won a free maternity session too! Awesome.


Here's some pictures of Gideon with his favorite buddy. The second one is a super "real life" pic if there ever was one. This guy is the best daddy, and Gideon just adores him. They love to play outside together, Daniel loves to help him practice swinging a baseball bat and go down the slide. And on normal days, when Daniel comes home, Gideon insists that he take off his shirt and snuggle. He loves skin to skin with daddy. It's adorable. Can't wait to see him with a daughter and Gideon with a sissy. Love my family.<3



...Until next time, which is another couple weeks closer to GO time!;-)


Sunday, March 6, 2016

Baby Emma Grace: weeks 30&31

Well, I've definitely hit the "I'm so uncomfortable" and "I'm over it" point these last few weeks. My body aches in new ways everyday and my issues I started with are really hitting me hard with this baby weight now. Oh man, it's glamourous ya'll. ;-) 


How far along? 32 weeks today 

How big is the baby? Head of lettuce 19 inches 3.9lbs 

Total weight gain/loss:
20 ish pounds 

Maternity clothes? Yes. I did put my pre pregnancy jeans on today, and while they fit (with the really cool hair tie button technique of course) they were not comfortable for moving or breathing really do they lasted all of about 10 minutes on until I just pulled my one and only trusty jeggings back out of the hamper. Lol 

Sleep? Sleep is getting harder. Getting and staying comfortable is tough. It's much better than standing or sitting so there's still relief in being in bed, but I know this is just the beginning of the downhill slope with sleep that really hits bottom during that newborn period. Not looking forward to feeling like a zombie 

Best moment this week: yesterday my mom (who's in Germany! Yay!) got a lot of last items for nesting and feeling prepared done. So nesting is in full swing and I'm feeling ready for baby for the most part. 

Symptoms? Well like you know, back pain, pelvic pain (all the fun stuff that involves), sensitive skin, heartburn, super sensitive smell again, and really feeling tired. Plus plenty of other glamorous things that I'll keep to myself ;-)
Oh and the emotional hormonal crazies are back too. Yikes!
 

Food cravings? Sushi! Yep, I'm totally eating it this time around. The safer versions and in moderating. Yum yum

Food aversions? Not really 

Gender? Should still be a girl lol. We have a growth ultrasound soon so at least we can confirm again!
And oh my, I'll tell you I've had major anxiety and second guesses on her name though. We have had it picked for forever but as it gets closer and it just happens to be oh so popular right now, I really dislike having such a "common" name picked. I've already got it on the wall, car seat cover and other things so I'm pretty certain I need to keep it. Daniel and I have always dreamed of our Emma, but man, I wish it was as original as Gideon. But I'm just saying, we liked it before it was so "in style" lol 

Labor signs? Lots of BH and pelvic pressure! I'm so glad I've had help here because I have to take breaks a lot and in not able to pick Gideon as up as much as he wishes I could. 

Milestones? Counting down on 2 hands! 

Bump? Umm yeah lol

Here are some pics:
30 weeks

31 weeks

She really started dropping more this week. This was 31 + 3 I think 


Her side of the kids bedroom is done! A little more girly than I originally intended it to be, but I love pink and yellow, and I hope my little girl does too :) My mom brought these letters with her that I ordered from syst and painted the dresser so thank you, mom!!


Just ordered this chair for our bedroom. Comfy for nursing and snuggling a baby. 



Gideon insisted he try out his sissy's car seat when it was decorated with her carseat canopy. Oh, I know he's going to miss being the baby. 
He is just the coolest.

Here's the best soon to be big brother. I don't know if either of us is really ready for that part of the transition. I will always love my baby boy who made me a mommy! I feel like I can't begin to understand yet how I can love another little human as much as him but I know God will expand my heart and I'm forever grateful for these blessings.


Love you all! Thanks for reading! :)

Monday, February 22, 2016

Baby Emma Grace:Weeks 28&29

I'm a little late with this update because I now in week 30, but better late than never, right? I'm using my "free time" as I'm sitting in the labs on base right now doing the longest set of bloodwork. Apparently, I "failed" my 1 hour glucose screening test (I'm pretty sure it's my fault with eating/drinking coffee too close to doing it) so I'm now doing the 3 hour test, which is really 4. So I currently haven't eaten in 15 hours, and I have one more to go. Oh. my. goodness. Whoever thought a pregnant lady should fast this long for a test is a (insert choice word) ;-P
But I will at least take advantage of some of my time here. So here's the updates from the last few weeks. 

How far along? 30 weeks 1 day today 

How big is the baby? Butternut squash ( 17 in 3.1pounds) 

Total weight gain/loss:
17 ish pounds at 30 weeks so it was like 15-16 the last 2 weeks I'd guess 

Maternity clothes? Some. I wish I had more variety lately 

Sleep? Sleep is pretty good, except for last night because I was dreading these labs and getting up early booo

Best moment this week: any moment I'm not having back or pelvic pain which are few and far between these days. 

Symptoms? Well like you know, back pain, pelvic pain (all the fun stuff that involves), still some sinus stuff going on, sensitive skin, getting tired and worn out more easily each passing week 

Food cravings? I've really wanted strawberry ice cream, but I haven't eaten it yet. Well, except the paleo version I made a last week with frozen bananas and strawberries (yum!). I have some strawberry Haagen Dazs calling my name tonight though. ;) 

Food aversions? Italian dressing. Don't know why but I've not been a fan lately 

Gender? Should still be a girl lol. 

Labor signs? Not as many BH contractions lately or tightening from my back issues so that's better. So ready to be done though! 

Milestones? Third trimester and counting down

Bump? Yep. Someone just made my day though asking if I was 5 months pregnant and was surprised when I said about 7 months.I'll take it even though I think this belly is huge! Lol 

Here are some pics:
28 weeks 
29 weeks 
29+4 belly was popping that day! 

Pretty much should be wearing this shirt today. (Not really too swollen yet though so thank goodness for that!)

Emma's ultrasound and little decoration with her name I made 

As always some cute big brother pics!
He melts my heart 
At a local plant/garden store 

I'm a mess, but he's reading the bible with mommy. He's the best, ya'll. :)